Confessions
by Kaishiru
Summary: Ren and Aoba try to keep their feelings in check but each time they touch, they pull away, feeling as though their own feelings are a taboo. RenAo, post-canon, slight canon divergence. (For RenAo week day 3: Confession)


**Disclaimer: I do not own Dramatical Murder or any of its characters nor gain any sort of profit from them. They belong to Nitro+Chiral. I just own this fanfiction.**

* * *

Feeling a love so intense for one another can eventually become unbearable. That is what Ren and Aoba are experiencing. Ever since Ren had gotten a body; real, human body, he and Aoba couldn't be happier. They feel so grateful to Sei for giving them such a wonderful gift. Aoba and Ren felt like they can finally be together like they were in Scrap. However...

It felt...wrong.

Like they would be insulting Sei's memory if they ever thought of loving each other or even touching each other. Ren knew this which is why he always pulled back from touching Aoba in a romantic way. Aoba is the same. He doesn't want to do a disservice to Sei's memory. And even when he thinks about touching Ren, he feels like he would be touching Sei. That wasn't right for him and it was well beyond weird despite being through a fair share of strange events so far.

One day, Aoba felt like he should sit and talk with Ren about what is going on between them. It was after dinner and they finished cleaning up after offering to do it for Tae. The silence between the both of them had the elderly woman worried for them but they assured it was nothing. They decided to not tell her about the nature of their relationship, or lack thereof, just yet. Not until Ren and Aoba sort out their feelings.

After finishing washing dishes, Aoba and Ren went up to their room while Tae relaxed in the living area. The two males needed to talk and today is the day to do it. This wasn't something they can put off any longer. They sat down on their bed, staying silent for quite some time before Aoba decided to speak.

"Ren, I know we have been avoiding to touch each other." Aoba murmurs as Ren nods in agreement.

"It's not like we're inside your head anymore when we could touch each other freely." Ren sighed, reaching out for Aoba's hand to rest his own hand on top of it. "But I don't think we can do something like that in reality. And I really want to but..." Ren tentatively bites his lip as he trails off on his words. Aoba knew the problem. It comes down to one person.

"You can't because your body previously belonged to Sei." Aoba finishes. Ren nods before looking away. "It would be like defacing his memory, right?"

"Well sort of... And also... I feel like it would be wrong to use his body to satisfy my own desires."

"I...understand what you mean..."

These feelings had been bothering Ren for a long while. Several months since he had gotten his body back. His feelings for Aoba never diminished. What he had told Aoba back in Scrap, he loved him from the beginning and that he will always be with him. At first, Ren was fine with being inside Aoba's head since he had gotten to touch him intimately and showed him his love. That should have been enough. However, he had gained a body. A real, human body. Courtesy of Sei. Ren can't express his gratitude enough for this opportunity. So he thought he should use this present to at least protect Aoba.

The feelings didn't stop there, unfortunately. Now that he is in reality with Aoba, he wanted to do more things with him. Ren wanted to walk with Aoba, run with Aoba, hold hands with Aoba, hug Aoba, and even touch Aoba. Those are normal feelings but he knew he was far from normal. His body wasn't even his to begin with. And Sei is also Aoba's older twin brother so Ren felt like he had no right to desire such things in Sei's body.

Aoba knew how Ren felt as well even if his beloved never spoke of his feelings verbally. He could see it in those tender amber eyes. He loves Ren and Ren loves him. They didn't know how to deal with feelings like this for one another in reality. It led to them not touching each other. Even if they have the urge to just hold hands. Like they had a phobia of touching each other even though that wasn't the case.

Ren's hand held Aoba's, soon lacing their fingers through one another. It's so warm... A firm reminder he can touch Aoba in reality now. The sensation alone felt nice and Ren wanted to touch more of Aoba's skin. As soon as the feelings of love and desire appeared, Ren pulled his hand away and Aoba looked a bit shocked mixed in with a little hurt. The blue haired male reached out for Ren's hand again, not ignoring how the taller male flinched from the contact.

"Ren... I know it may seem wrong to touch each other but things like this should be fine right?" Aoba asked, looking at Ren who is still averting his gaze.

"I don't know," Ren began, unsure on how to phrase his next words. "If I hold hands with you, I will want to do more."

"What else do you want to do with me?" Aoba almost sighed in a longing way.

The question made the taller male feel a strong pang in his chest. It hurt to think of his desires because he knew he was being selfish. A fairly innocent question shouldn't cause him pain and despair. Ren couldn't stop himself from wrapping his arms around Aoba, his eyes pricking slightly. No, he didn't want to cry over this. It seemed so irrational. He opened his trembling lips to answer Aoba's question.

"I...I want to touch you, Aoba. Hold you in my arms. These were things I could only wish for before..." he murmured quietly. "But it's wrong and selfish for me to want these things now. I feel like I should be grateful for just being able to exist as a human. In reality with you."

That's what he thought anyway.

"That makes me happy. Sei gave you that opportunity, sure." Aoba had pulled away from Ren to look in his eyes, cupping his face so the other can't look away from him. "I don't think he would want you to hold back on your feelings on his account. My brother... I can never repay him for what he's done for me. For us. I will always be grateful for him having you return to me in this world."

"Aoba..."

"Sei gave you his body because he knew of your feelings for me. And he knows you are your own person."

"But this body was his..." Ren interjects as he frowns, still hesitating.

"Yeah, that is always at the back of my mind. I'm hesitating too, don't get me wrong. However..." Aoba smiles warmly at Ren and used his thumb to stroke his right cheek. "The one in front of me now, is you. The Ren who loves and cares for me a lot."

The dark haired male closed his eyes and held one of Aoba's hands that is still cupping his face. He leaned into its touch as if he couldn't help it anymore. It's a firm reminder he is now here with Aoba and feeling the warm touch makes him feel so much better than before.

"I love you...more than anything, Ren. I love Sei too but in a different way. I will cherish what he has given me until the end of our lives. I want us to be able to do anything together without feeling guilty. Including touching you. That's not a bad thing, right?"

Hearing Aoba say this to him, Ren thought for a moment, the confession briefly stunning him. Looking on the outside of this situation without knowing the details, it isn't a bad thing. The thought of Sei still pushes them away from each other. Keeping them at arm's length at all times. However, they are now close to each other, Aoba is touching his face affectionately. They are so close, their noses are barely touching.

"I love you, Aoba. I'm happy you feel the same way as me. Extremely happy..." He leaned closer to the one he loves and whispered, "So can you tell me one more time, that you love me?"

"I love you, Ren..."

Ren couldn't hold himself back as he kissed Aoba, wrapping his arms around the other's frame. He felt Aoba tense up but he soon relaxed and wrapped his arms around Ren's shoulders. Aoba allowed himself to be pulled onto Ren's lap as soon as the kiss grew more heated with Ren's tongue prodding against his lips. The blue haired male accepted his beloved's tongue into his mouth, sucking on it lightly. It caused Ren to groan softly and they began tasting each other more fervently as the heat began to pool into their stomach and lower regions.

They pulled apart as soon as it became a little difficult to breathe. For a few moments, Ren and Aoba stared into each other's eyes. Their feelings were out but they felt like they could say even more by looking into the eyes of each other. Aoba can tell Ren loves him by the way he looks at him and vice versa. It only made the moment between them less and less awkward. Aoba lightly touched his forehead to Ren's and smiled, feeling happy.

"Aoba?" Ren said, wondering what is on his mind.

"I was just thinking how happy I am I can touch you in reality." he murmured then stared straight into Ren's eyes. "I'm even more happy you're here with me. When you were gone, I really had thought I lost everyone..."

"Fortunately, you haven't. And I haven't lost you, either, in a way." Ren smiled warmly at Aoba then claimed his lips with his own again for a moment. It's obvious that Ren is happy now that he is with Aoba in reality. He would have been happy with just that but he wanted to do more with him. His hands that were around Aoba's body loosened and slowly descended lower.

Aoba shivered minutely as he felt Ren's hands slide under his shirt but he didn't stop him. Ren touching his stomach so gently was almost ticklish. He couldn't help but let out a small giggle. The dark haired male stared at him with mild confusion.

"Sorry. It's a little ticklish..." Aoba answered, another giggle threatened to slip out. Ren changed up his caresses as one of his hands reached Aoba's chest to fondle his nipples. He then kissed Aoba, soon sliding his tongue into his mouth. The ticklish sensation turned into something different when Ren's taste had entered his senses. He felt the heat building in his lower parts, his pants growing tighter from Ren touching his nipples. It felt so nice especially when Ren had pinched the hardening pink nubs a certain way. His back arched slightly from the pleasure he felt and he couldn't help but want more.

However, he started feeling as though he isn't making Ren feel good and Aoba frowned inwardly to himself. He began grinding his still clothed and forming erection against Ren's while they kissed. The pleasure caused the darker haired male to react and they broke apart. Almost as quickly, Ren easily pushed Aoba down onto the bed. He's towering over Aoba whose face is flushed and his eyes were looking up at him, half lidded and filled with a desire that needed to be quenched. Some part of him is hesitating and he felt bad for wanting to do so much with Aoba already. Noticing Ren's hesitation, Aoba reached up to touch his cheek.

"We can take it slow. There's no need to make love to me in order to solidify our relationship." Aoba assured him. "It is already so strong." He had then pulled Ren closer and whispered in his ear, "I still want to touch you."

Hearing those words broke Ren's resolve. He had Aoba sit up so he could help him out of his shirt then his pants and boxers. He stripped out of his own clothes until he and his beloved were completely naked in front of each other. Ren thought Aoba looked so beautiful as he admired his naked form for a moment. He almost couldn't believe he is the one here with Aoba right now and seeing him like this. He is the only person who can and will probably ever see Aoba in such a way. Honestly, Ren felt very possessive as soon as he thought that while he towered over his beloved again, situating himself between his legs. Their completely hard cocks rested against each other, causing both males to shiver in delight.

Aoba felt the need to feel some sort of friction so he rose his hips and rubbed himself against Ren, their erections rubbed against each other as they had before. Ren did the same thing in hopes of helping Aoba feel good. He shivered when his own erection continuously rubbed against Aoba's and he held him closer, their chests touching. Even though they are sort of not having sex, they felt like they were one. Sharing sensations is impossible in reality but this felt unexpectedly better. When Ren reached between him and Aoba to grasp their erections, Aoba couldn't help but shiver and moan at Ren moving his hand slowly. The movements were languid at first since Ren was trying to find the right pace for them both until he found the right one that made them shiver, pant, and moan simultaneously.

More. Aoba wanted more. He wanted to touch Ren as much as Ren is touching him. The male removed one of his hands from around Ren's neck and brought it between them. Then he placed his hand on top of Ren's, helping him pleasure them both at the same time. Whenever Ren moved his hand, Aoba did the same, using his thumb to dig into the tip of Ren's cock and smeared the drops of precum that oozed out over it. Ren's reaction was wonderful and his hand stiffened around them.

"Aoba..." Ren moaned then kissed Aoba, messily while panting into each other's mouths. It only made the delicious sensations building between them more potent. They weren't going to last any longer at this rate. That was okay because this felt good. Everything felt good even though they were only touching each other. It was so much more than their hips connecting in each grind. It was their feelings for one another, growing and flourishing to near unbearable levels. Ren loved Aoba and Aoba loved Ren. Nothing was wrong with that at all. Touching each other like this proves that.

Aoba felt like he was teetering on the edge and tried to hold off so he and Ren could orgasm at the same time but the moment Ren squeezed both of their dicks. He shuddered violently as he briefly saw white in his vision. A different type of white flowed from the tip of Aoba's cock as he buried his face into Ren's shoulder in attempts to quiet his moans. His cum spilled over on his and Ren's hand, coating it along with their stomachs. At the same time, Ren came with a low groan and both of their stomachs were covered with an ample amount of cum. They would probably have to clean up afterward.

But Aoba was too tired to move as he and Ren lay there, their bodies are covered with a fair amount of sweat. He attempted to calm his breathing as Ren shifted and laid down on the bed beside him. Things were quiet in the room except for their erratic breathing which they are still trying to calm. Ren grabbed a nearby towel on the floor and cleaned off their dirtied hands and stomachs of cum then tossed the towel onto the floor.

Ren held Aoba close to himself, his lover's back against his bare stomach, and buried his face in his hair. It smelled like Aoba... That filled Ren's heart with a warm feeling and he smiled to himself as he continued inhaling Aoba's scent. The sensation kind of made the blue haired male laugh.

"Ren, that tickles!" Aoba laughed, unable to push Ren away.

"Sorry, Aoba. It just smells like you." he murmured. "I'm happy."

Aoba chuckled lightly, sounding content as well. "I'm glad."

From the sound of Ren's contented voice, Aoba knew that he felt relieved to have done this with him. The thought of Sei is still at the back of his mind and he wondered if he would find this strange or disgusting. Then again, Aoba had been looking at this all wrong. From the brief conversation he had with his older brother, he gathered that Sei is such a good-natured soul. One that would never dislike someone for their life choices.

So maybe Sei would respect Ren and Aoba for making a choice together. And at Ren for making the choice to do whatever he pleased in the body given to him. That's what Aoba thought and he still thanks Sei from the bottom of his heart while he rests in Ren's arms. He places his hand on top of Ren's and leans into his hold more as if he can't feel enough of his warmth.

The shame both of the males felt dissipated. There in it's place is the love and respect they show for each other and Sei, too. Whether or not their decision to love each other physically and romantically is the right one, it's Ren's and Aoba's decision. And theirs alone.

The road ahead of them will be tough but they will face the trails together, holding hands.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Hi, I'm posting yet another fanfiction for RenAo week event that happened on tumblr. I am cross-posting this from my AO3. I loved writing this. It was fun and I am surprised I kept it less smutty considering all the porn I have been writing (and drawing) for this event. At least I had fun writing it because reasons and I really love writing for Ren and Aoba. Hope you guys enjoy this fanfiction~~


End file.
